The Cost of Worrying

There’s a massive difference between being aware of and prepared for a situation versus worrying and living in fear over it. That constant fear has multiple effects on you that, odds are, you’re not even aware of until you’re in the midst of those effects. Many get stuck in this loop and never realize it, which only deepens their worries, burrowing them further and further into their subconscious which makes it harder to escape from the pattern. This week in Deeper Thoughts we’re going to take a look at what the cost of worrying is.

So first we need to take a look into what worrying stems from, which is fear. We all have fears that vary from person to person and even then the scale of those fears will vary. These fears can come about due to a traumatic event or from programming and conditioning, all while we were children.

Fear in and of itself isn’t a bad thing. It’s an internal warning that you aren’t safe and is meant for you to do something that will make you feel safe, such as if you’re standing too close to a cliff and you step away from the edge so you’re safer. Or when we see a snake that we don’t know is venomous or not and retreat away from it.

What happens many times is we end up in situations where we don’t feel safe, be it physically, mentally, or financially, and instead of actively doing something to make ourselves safer, we worry and focus only on the fear and stress of that situation instead of seeking for and capitalizing on solutions to that problem.

To use myself as an example, I have a fear of riding motorcycles which I hate because I think they’re really cool and some are like works of art the way they can be designed. I’ve never been on one, let alone been in an accident while riding one, but the fear stems from knowing from a very young age that one of my uncles was in an accident over 30 years ago and as a result he was in a vegetative state until he passed away several years ago. I remember visiting him in the hospital where he was at and hearing stories of what had happened. Those stories, along with seeing him in that state and as a result a fear of riding motorcycles got implanted into my subconscious. Now I know there are plenty of ways I could get over that fear in a healthy manner and enjoy riding them myself, but it’s not been a priority.

This is an example of a trauma induced fear, but now let’s take a look at a fear that is the result of fear based conditioning and programming.

A prime example of this can be centered around money. We all know that one person who’s always worrying about money, and to be fair, that’s a valid thing to worry about. For instance, Sarah is a single mother of two who works two jobs to make ends meet. Between rent, utilities, groceries, car insurance, gas prices, and babysitters she’s barely scraping by with no room for saving money. When her car breaks down every few months she’s always in a panic trying to figure out how to scrape the money together to pay for repairs. And she’s always worried about losing either or both of her jobs when she has to call out because if one of her children aren’t sick she is, and many times when she’s sick and her body’s needing rest she will still try to go into work, thus making recovery take longer. And she tends to get sick a lot due to the financial stress she’s always under. Her constant stress makes it difficult for her to make choices until the very last minute, keeping her in analysis paralysis until the last minute before she finally makes a panic driven decision. 

In Sarah’s case this all stems from childhood. Money was always tight in the home when she was a child her parents were always stressed about finances. On top of that, they had the mindset that money is hard to come by and whatever money you get you have to always work hard for it. They were also against taking financial risks, such as investing because money was too scarce and even investing in yourself, such as schools, courses, seminars etc because they were too expensive and believed that money should go into the household.

So Sarah was conditioned as a child to believe money is hard to come by, so she’s always in fear of never having enough. As mentioned before this constant stress and worry over money often affects her health, and because she does all she can to not take time off work to rest and recover her health never improves and over time gets worse. This worrying over money causes Sarah to never take risks or invest in herself by going to school or taking a class here and there, to the point that she won’t even entertain looking into financial options such as scholarships or grants she would qualify for as a single mother.

And this cycle continues to repeat itself and over time gets worse and worse.

Yes, making ends meet to support herself and her children is extremely important, but when all Sarah is doing is worrying about money, she doesn’t realize that she always makes her bills, and even when unexpected expenses come up like when her car breaks down she manages to get the repairs done. She somehow always manages to get by. Instead of stressing about how to get the bills paid for the month as soon as the new month rolls over she could start tracking her spending, and budget so she can start saving some up and after a point start using that to invest in tools, skills, and/or classes so she can eventually get better paying jobs either within one of the jobs she has or in a new place altogether. If she would take the time to look around her and take stock of the things she does have control over, it would become easier to make choices she needs to instead of making those last minute panic moves, that don’t always work out and cause even more stress.

Yes we all have issues, situations, and obstacles that are in our lives that hinder us. To just ignore them can be dangerous, but to obsess over them can be equally as dangerous. When we’re aware of a fear we can take measures to protect ourselves against it without being tied down to that fear. When we live in fear we remain small, stuck in a scarcity mindset and that prevents us from growing and expanding. Be aware of what you’re worrying about and instead of staying trapped there seek out solutions. It might take time to get there, but not having to worry about what’s been holding you back is a weight off your shoulders.

Thank you for reading, and I hope you all have an enlightening day.