The Uncomfortable Comfort Zone

People want to stick to their comfort zone because stepping out of it can appear scary. All the “what ifs?” and unknowns frighten people. Too many things can be outside your control. The unfamiliar waters to navigate. The risk of failure. So many things are out there that keep too many people inside their own little box. But what most people don’t realize is that being in that comfort zone can be one of the most uncomfortable places in the world. This week in Deeper Thoughts we dive into the uncomfortable comfort zone.

So why do we try to stick to our comfort zone? Because it’s familiar. We’re used to it. We know what to expect there. Shocks and surprises are minimal to near non-existent.

For example: Why leave that job? It pays you enough to support your family, right? Even though you’re living paycheck to paycheck and if you get sick and miss a day of work it can cause stress because you’re not sure how you’re going to pay bills? It doesn’t bring in enough to have any sort of savings for emergency funds, let alone offer any type of retirement plans or even insurance. Sure the hours are long and you miss your kid’s big achievements in school, which aren’t as many as their friend’s because you can’t afford to get them into the extra curricular activities they want to join. And of course those long hours prevent you from taking any time off to take your family on vacation, but even if it did, it only pays just enough to get by so who needs a vacation, right? Yeah, the boss is always breathing down your neck and you’re always stressed out when you clock in and you dread, hate, and resent every single day you have to go and clock in, but at least it just barely pays the bills and puts just enough food on the table to keep your family from starving. Sure you’d like to make more money, but raises are few and far in between and there’s not room for a promotion any time in the foreseeable future, but it’s a steady paycheck, right?

So, why do so many people stay in a job that they hate? Because even with all that pain and misery, it’s a job that pays the bills, even if it’s just barely. There are people in jobs that pay well, but all the other issues are the same and they’re just as miserable. They stay in these jobs because they’re familiar. The people working these jobs know what to expect. They stay put because trying to get a new job, different career, or even starting their own business can be scary. Too many variables. Too many unknowns which can keep a person in a frozen state.

Yes, it might be rocky switching up jobs or careers, but when you find something you enjoy that pays well, has less stress, and allows for upward movement if you want it, why wouldn’t you want that? Many of the people in these situations dream about something like this, but because they’re stuck in that uncomfortable comfort zone, they never make moves towards something better.

Another common example is when we see someone in a toxic or abusive relationship. Usually it’s women who stay stuck here. But why? Despite friends and family trying to get them to leave the relationship they won’t. The other person can be abusive, physically or emotionally. Even both. They keep her secluded from friends and family. Always threatening her. Constantly accusing her of cheating, even though she never has.

There are many reasons she might stay in this uncomfortable comfort zone. He might be abusive, but he keeps her safe from others. Being a single woman in the world can be a scary and dangerous place for a woman. Leaving could be physically dangerous or life threatening if he finds out. She might not know how to support herself and her children if she has any.

Even though she may wish and dream of a better relationship, the “what ifs” can be scary for her.

These are but two common examples of uncomfortable comfort zones people will remain in and there are a myriad of reasons people stay in them. Stepping out of that comfort zone can be scary for sure, downright terrifying even. But the growth that comes from finding a way to step out of it and into the unknown cannot be overlooked. You have to surrender the control you want to hold onto and find what new areas you do have control and move forward with intention. There’s the old saying of “Change happens when the fear of change becomes less than the pain of staying the same.” You eventually get so uncomfortable in that comfort zone that you force yourself out of it. It makes it easier if you’re willing to do that before the pressure becomes too intense.

Examine your comfort zone and what about it makes you uncomfortable. What can you do to step out of it so you can actually stretch and grow?

Thank you for reading, and I hope you all have an enlightening day.